The F-Word.

I got the F-word covered.

Years in the rock n’ roll business, some may say -- did me fine. With on-air radio experience in the past: my friends and many others will attest to the fact that I am not only a pro at utilizing the F-word, but may even reflect politely that this is a habit that I would benefit from curbing. When in Dubai last, I was cognizant of this being a criminal offense and held my hand over my mouth repeatedly while travelling in cabs. Taxis are a place where many would agree that the F-word is not only appropriate, but a necessary tool for travel.

The F-word I am referencing today is far more insidious and is, for all intense purposes, more difficult for me to say. Hardly a pro at using this F-word, from years of non-use, this F-word is -- ‘frugality’. No longer a pre-requisite for survival in this market, frugality is a lifestyle that has officially become trendy.

"I have three precious things which I hold fast and prize. The first is gentleness; the second is frugality; the third is humility, which keeps me from putting myself before others. Be gentle and you can be bold; be frugal and you can be liberal; avoid putting yourself before others and you can become a leader among men.” -- Chinese Taoist Philosopher, Lao Tzu

A friend of mine recently wrote me: let me help you become more frugal. Borderline offended (but got over it due to his good looks) he was graciously offering his assistance after I had referenced the impact of advertising sales on our bottom-line and was offering ideas. With DealFlow targeting the premium brand audience, let me offer this valuable disclaimer: DealFlow is about business opportunities to make money and for the record, frugality is never our mission...on the other hand, as frontline professionals in the recession, we felt the burn first.

For starters, I want to address the areas of premium consumption where the F-word for many of us is hardest to apply: Wine, Fashion, Cars, Yachts, and Entertainment and of course, Sex. Fred believes that it is impossible to date without cash, so how does one be ‘frugal’ and enjoy life?

Here are my efforts at tips on “The Art of Frugality”, from someone that is hardly a pro:

• Wine/Drinking -- One of the priciest places to spend money in our industry is in bar. After a lunch meeting with Stew this week we determined that the only way to sidestep this challenge was to apply the following 2 strategic options - 1) Icelandic Methodology. We learned in Rekyvik that if you meet at a friend’s house and drink several shots before heading out at midnight or later, one can keep their costs down as you will only be able to handle 1 or 2 more drinks before the bar closes...2) Feign Addiction. While politically incorrect to lie about an addiction and purely offensive, if you tell your friends that you are in AA, chances are – no one will ask you to pick up the tab. Then, pack your grand-daddy’s antique flask, drink during bathroom breaks and feign a major detox campaign for your health (this explains numerous bathroom breaks)...of course, if your friends catch you with your flask this will only support you confession...be prepared for an intervention and lots of unsolicited advice...
• Fashion – green and organic is in. Even my daughter has returned to her natural hair color after years of friends and families asking me ‘what color is her hair this month’. Dry cleaners are using more eco-friendly technologies, which in my experience translates to smelly dry cleaning. So with everyone wielding the latest in organic scents, smelly is in. So you can easily go at least 2-3+ wears with your work-wear before dry-cleaning and with the assistance of a Tide stain removal stick.
• Cars – This used to be a hard one, but now with the price of oil; and with fitness always the 'in-thing' -- just tell your friends you’re biking everywhere and then hide the Vespa around the corner since arguably one’s life will be shortened significantly in our downtown core with no bike lanes and aggressive drivers everywhere...we miss Copenhagen!
• Yachts – I can’t help you with this one, either you have one or you don’t...and yes Fred, I do believe you could get more dates with a yacht.
• Entertainment – When going out to a restaurant, which we urban dwellers do all too frequently, claim you’re a real vegan; thus ruling out expensive fish dishes. Our Director is a vegan and as a result we never want him to pay for dinner. After all the only things he orders – rice, beans, bread and potatoes hardly cost more than a few dollars. While camping was suggested, I will take a pass on this recommendation. I will also pass on Stew’s recommended bohemian concert-combination efforts...this leads me to the well-known recommendation that the best in entertainment is always free...friendship?  Hardly, see next category...
• Sex – While Fred has argued that sex over 30 for a man is never free* (unless you have a yacht), it is and has always been on the top of my recommendation for cost effective entertainment unless done with wild abandon and without protection as I stare at tuition bills for fall. Free, fun and fabulous, this is where the F-words all merge...

(*)The blog entry on how to date for free for men over 30 may never be written...

Comments

[Kevin]

I am still laughing out loud at the last point that "sex over 30 for a man is never free* (unless you have a yacht)". I can imagine yacht manufacturers all across the US caught in the grips of a recession are looking to this as a slogan even as I type.

[cissp practice exams]

Hey
Its a great post i just love it and the reason is that it includes all the basic bad things of our society and i think we should eliminated these so that we can get a very nice environment...i m a youngster and cissp practice exams made me think about the world in a new manner....so plz try to eliminate the basic bad things in us then we can change the world around us...!!!

[Tracy]

ummm, thanks I think. It appears, however; that you did not read the blog. If you did, you would see that the 'f-word' is frugality, and is not a bad word at all. The word you are referencing is well entrenched in my vocabulary and probably when I die, my last 2 words will be "Oh F%$#"...so I do not share your contention that this is a 'bad word'...good luck and may I suggest you change your descriptive name...LOL.